It’s the night before my birthday
right now
and i’m going to be 29.

Had a dinner of
bbq pulled chicken on a pretzel bun
with a side of bleu cheese grits
and a homebrew red ale
with my friends
at Beachwood BBQ
on main street in Seal Beach,
and Locke paid for mine when I tried to pay.

When we went outside
I bid my friends adieu
but before
we could depart
a little old white man
bum appeared
with scruffy grey and white greasy beard
and swollen cheeks from ripple
and beedy eyes
and a baseball hat.

“Who’s birthday is it? Is it your birthday?” He asked Tom.
“No, it’s not my birthday.”
“It’s my birthday.” I said.

And he turned to me with the biggest smile
and stuck out his dark leathery hand
and said, “It’s my birthday too! I’m 69 years young!”
“Hey man, I’m about to be 29 years young bro.”
And he wouldn’t let go of my hand,
I was giving him a man to man real handshake,
the kind of handshake people in positions of power
give to one another while camera’s take their picture
to be published on the front of newspapers (or newswebsites).
It was that kind of handshake.

And then I tried to let go and he said,
“Look, I caught a fish!”
And he pulled my hand towards him shaking it
and let go, and I laughed,
and he patted me on the shoulder,
and I patted him back
“Alright, take it easy man.”
“Happy birthday!” He said.
“You too.” Even though he was probably lying about his birthday;
and gave him a peace sign
as I turned and saw my friends inching away from
me and the bum.
I gave them peace signs too and they bid their adieus
and the bum
said
emphatically,
“God bless you!”
And I said, “You too man, we fucking need it.”

They’re keeping a list.

The Nazis kept a list of millions of Jews.

Our new president
seems to be
abiding by the same precedent
as our last one…
Same coin theory is proven.

A terrorist watch list
has accumulated
over a million names
of individuals
on suspicion
for pre-crime
like some Minority Report
Sci-Fi nightmare,
just ask the ACLU.

Not saying they’ll do
anything
but secretly monitor you,
which they already do
regardless
through vast super computers
that troll the net and filter
all phone calls, texts, and emails
like they OVERTLY do in China.

Watch out for governments keeping lists.
It’s called Fascist.

Catalina
like an island
on a cloud
surreal
so real it
manifests itself

it is there
but it is not
and i am here
and i am not
i am only passing by
on my way to die
so real
surreal
it will be here
when no ones here
when
all is still
when humans
evolve out of
needing
a body to exist
manifesting ourselves
on clouds
out of oceans
like
the rock,
as impenetrable
and full of life
as the earth,
surreal
so real
actions
speaking
no words
no needing
just
becoming.

trying to absorb
ever increasing
amounts of knowledge
and love
like photosynthesis
of sun rays
until
the end
of my days,
when
i will
leave
the leaves
behind
on shelves;
records
of how beautiful
we were
with
ourselves.

You could be my forever
lover–
i could love you forever.

Fate has not put us together
lover–

if we were together
i’d love you forever
for real–

for real love
is all i know

is all i have to show
for,
is all i have
to
give
or
go on
for.

it’s still in me
even though things
are miserable on
Earth,
July 22, 2009
@ 12:55pm PST,
and i don’t have money
and i don’t have a lover

Let the new Renaissance age commence.
I demand it.
It is now time for us
to ascend out of the dark technological age
of terror.

Instead of making death machines
let’s start making life machines.
Let’s base our new economy off of peaceful
harmonious endeavors like using water to fuel our big rigs
and robotic AI for space exploration;
instead we build automotons of cold termintor death dealing;
end warfare,
leave the muslims alone and let them keep their fucking oil.

the memory
of you
a reoccuring dream
my lips move
breath
pushing
vowels
but i hear
nothing
communicating telepathically
you are
there
and desperately ungraspable
just like in reality.

I lay restless in bed
thinking
of how it
could all be different
replaying memories
of moments gone awry
i tell me:

stop
thinking about
what
you have no
control over,
that is such a waste of
energy,
what
you felt is
for you
to keep;

it’s late
and you have to work
when you awake
the pain of the struggle is
like a sour apple jolly rancher
so go to sleep.

let go
of what you have
no control of

take reign
of what you can

destroy the bond
of a days past
like today
was your last

oh
to know
you could

if it was meant to be
it was meant to be
if it happens
then it is what has happened
as the old saying goes
among surly working class men
“It is what it is.”

so
remain
open
to anything
that
is.