After my last day of work at Namm
i went out for dinner and drinks
with the crew,
now it’s after midnight
and most of them
called it a night
except for me
who said,
“I’m gonna go to 7-11 and get a big bottle of water before i go to bed.”

So i walked next door to 7-11
and went inside
and bought a liter bottle of
water
and got in line behind a
group of
young black guys
talking about jazz.

While we waited patiently
a weasely looking white guy
dressed for the office
thinks he’s outsmarted us all.

Just as a second register was opened
to help alleviate the line growing behind me,
he boldly walks up to it.

The person at the first register was done,
so the black dudes went there.

Too tired to debate the situation,
i just cut right in front of the guy
who looked like he worked in marketing
for some stupid corporation
that love go getters like him
that take the initiative
to cut everyone waiting in line
as if there were
no one there
at all.

“Hey, what are you doing?!” He said distraught.

I looked over my shoulder at him.

“The line cracks off back there, bro.” I said.
“You could have told me you know.” He said offended.

Instead of arguing about it
i looked him in the eyes,
and he tried to look me back,
but backed down after a second
and i watched him go to the back of the line
as the cashier scanned my water.

I paid for it and left and
went back to my suite at the Desert Palms
and started writing this.

I told my buddy Rob about what happened;
he’s the other camera guy for the show
and my roommate in the suite.
He had returned
from shooting the Coffin Case/Megadeth party
in the middle of me writing this.

“You know I’m a mellow guy, i just said, ‘fuck this motherfucker.’”
Rob started laughing, he thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

“So you just cut him back? That’s hilarious!”
“Yeah it was like elementary school. Now he’ll never do that shit again.”

We laughed.

your soft caress,
EVERY KISS
YOU PLACED
was perfect,
felt so
natural,
like exactly where
i needed to be…

inside
out
and
in
between
everything.

sitting in my apartment,
laptop illuminating
room,
headphones on
playing
the
blues,
looking out at
the city lights;
airplane blinks across
dark
star-mute
sky.

i believe in God,
Buddha,
Jesus Christ,
etc.

i’ve
glimpsed them with my naked eyes,
always
at my most
vulnerable;
seeing God
in everything,
seeing Buddha
when learning
to
appreciate
washing dishes,
jog with Jesus
not because
i sought him,
just because
being a bad person
doesn’t appeal to me.

a risk
for a reward beyond measure,
intangible
to the core,
i feel
more
real than
the illusion
of life
itself.

if it’s just
“a flash in the pan”
then it will all happen
all at once,
and be over
before it
began.

road my bike down to
the jetty,
a portrait of the artist
as a young man in
my pocket.

that you
felt
SOMETHING
at one moment
once
for me
in this life
is the most beautiful thing.

you are enough for me,
cosmic
anomally.

OH
MY
God

sitting
by the
seaside,
i don’t
want
to let go
this feeling
inside.

standing at
the end of
the pier
i watch
a man catch
a fish,
i think of you
and
then i wish.

it was when i was at my loneliest
that it came to me,
and i grew a love for it so vast and true
it became a part of who i am,
a defining aspect of my being;

because i had no one
i turned to the empty page
and gave it everything

i laugh on it,
i cry on it,

i draw blood across it.

build
upon
something
fragile
and
beautiful;
something
that
once built
will never
die
but
grow
stronger,
and stand the test of time
like true art–
like the wonders of the world.